Republitrolling

For those keeping score at home, the abortion waiting period in Utah is, as of this week, 72 hours. That’s three times longer than the 24-hour waiting period mandated by the Supreme Court. The waiting period to buy a handgun, rifle, or shotgun in Utah is zero hours. Seems legit.

The professional complainers over at the ACLU argue that a three-day wait between an initial consultation and abortion procedure is an undue burden on women seeking to terminate their pregnancies. Moreover, they say it’s “curious” that every woman in every circumstance has to wait the full three days, even women carrying stillbirths or other fetal anomalies. Sounds to us like someone needs to take a chill pill. 72 hours after the initial chill pill consultation, obviously.

Head to Facebook and thank Governor Gary Herbert for signing this totally sense-making bill into law.

Tennessee state representative Matthew Hill (friend him!) has removed two provisions from the bill he’s working on: the Life Defense Act of 2012, which we can only assume outlines the state’s defense strategy against the oncoming Mayan apocalypse.

Just kidding, it’s about abortion.

Originally, the bill would have required the state to publish the names of abortion providers. So people would know who they are and where they work. So they could maybe, I dunno, put up fliers or something.

The state wouldn’t have had to publish the names of the women who undergo abortion procedures. Just each woman’s age, race, marital status, county she lives in, number of prior pregnancies, number of prior abortions, gestational age of the fetus, and any pre-existing medical conditions. You’d have to be a Dixieland Sherlock Holmes to guess a woman’s identity based on that paltry amount of info, right? Especially in a rural state like Tennessee, where there are, what, like four people per county? 

But enough of all that, because Matthew Hill has gotten rid of all that list stuff, okay? Can we stop being mean to him now?

When asked about the bullies who crashed his party, Hill said that Debbie Downer opponents of his Life Defense Act were “spreading lies about me and this bill. Their categorization of me as a terrorist, murderer or more has been used by their leftist friends to engender hatred and incite the threat of violence against me.”

Mr. Hill, that’s just awful. That some crazy person would threaten violence against you just for doing your job. I bet nobody knows how that feels but you. You, sir, are an island in a vast and lonely sea.

Before you worry too much about him, Hill also said that he has “referred those threats to the proper authorities.”

Help Matthew Hill feel better by friending him on Facebook and, I dunno, leaving him a comment or something. And then maybe send that comment to me.

Welcome to Republitrolling. You may have heard about legislation swirling around the state and federal levels concerning your lady parts and the contents thereof. Women’s health issues have swept the nation, and have even been debated in Congress. Mostly by old dudes.

Like in Virginia, Pennsylvania, or Texas, where women seeking abortions would be forced to undergo a forced and medically unnecessary ultrasound before their procedure. Or in Kansas or Arizona, where in order to get your birth control medication covered by her employer’s health insurance, a woman would have to prove that she’s not some floozy taking birth control to, like, control births or something.

See, these old dudes know more about your vaginas than you. These old dudes know more about your vaginas than your OB/GYN, a doctor who majored in vaginas in doctor school. So, in recent weeks, women have been asking these old dudes vagina questions on their Facebook walls.

We’d like to fuel that fire, and archive some of those questions here. Hit up our submission page to send us yours.

We’ll also post news about vagina-related legislation cropping up around the country like so many yeast infections, and links to the Facebook pages of the honorary doctors behind them.

Happy trolling!